Rice Homophobia Test

A Completely Scientific and Totally Serious Assessment
⚠️ Caution: This is a parody test for entertainment purposes only. Completion of all items on this test will likely result in confusion, laughter, or mild existential crisis. Not actually a measure of anything real.
Instructions: Click the checkboxes next to items you have done, thought about doing, or would consider doing in an alternate universe. Be honest... or don't, we're not the boss of you.
1. Said "no homo" unironically before complimenting a friend?
2. Avoided sitting next to someone of the same gender in a movie theater when there were other seats available?
3. Made uncomfortable jokes about your friend's "bromance" (because friendship is suspicious now)?
4. Refused to wear pink because "it's not a guy color" (breaking: colors don't have genders)?
5. Called something "gay" as an insult in middle school and immediately regretted it when you realized how dumb that sounded?
6. Felt weird about using a rainbow emoji because of "what people might think" (spoiler: nobody cares)?
7. Made a face when you saw two people of the same gender holding hands (like your face muscles had a glitch)?
8. Asked someone "but who's the man in the relationship?" as if relationships require a CEO?
9. Avoided certain TV shows or movies because they had "too much gay stuff" (meanwhile watched 47 straight romance movies)?
10. Said "I'm not homophobic, but..." and then proceeded to say something incredibly homophobic?
11. Thought Pride Month was "too much" or "unnecessary" (like celebrating love is somehow excessive)?
12. Made jokes about "turning" someone gay or straight (because sexuality is apparently a light switch)?
13. Felt uncomfortable when someone asked about your sexuality (plot twist: it's just a question)?
14. Avoided complimenting someone of the same gender on their appearance because... reasons?
15. Made assumptions about someone's sexuality based on their voice (because apparently voices have orientations)?
16. Used "that's so gay" as a synonym for "that's stupid" (when the only stupid thing was the phrase itself)?
17. Felt the need to clarify your own sexuality when discussing LGBTQ+ topics (nobody asked, Karen)?
18. Made awkward comments about someone "looking gay" (gaydar malfunction detected)?
19. Questioned why someone needed to "announce" their sexuality (while announcing yours every day)?
20. Made jokes about someone's "gaydar" being broken (yours clearly needs recalibration)?
21. Felt uncomfortable in a gay bar or LGBTQ+ friendly space (they have better music anyway)?
22. Made comments about someone being "too flamboyant" (imagine policing someone's sparkle)?
23. Said someone was "shoving their sexuality in your face" for mentioning their partner once?
24. Made weird faces during same-gender kissing scenes (your face muscles need training)?
25. Asked invasive questions about someone's "lifestyle" (being gay isn't a hobby, Brad)?
26. Made jokes about "choosing" to be gay (like it's a Netflix subscription)?
27. Felt the need to mention you have LGBTQ+ friends when discussing related topics (the "I have Black friends" of sexuality)?
28. Made comments about someone "acting straight" or "acting gay" (sexuality isn't performance art)?
29. Worried about what people would think if you supported LGBTQ+ rights publicly (courage shortage detected)?
30. Made jokes about "alternative lifestyles" (alternative to what, exactly)?
31. Asked someone when they "knew" they were gay in that special awkward way?
32. Made comments about people being "confused" about their sexuality (maybe you're the confused one)?
33. Felt uncomfortable discussing LGBTQ+ topics with your family (time for some family education)?
34. Made assumptions about someone's relationship dynamic based on outdated stereotypes?
35. Said someone's sexuality was "just a phase" (like the moon, but gayer)?
36. Made weird comments about LGBTQ+ representation in media (representation matters, Tim)?
37. Felt the need to clarify you were "just being friendly" when being nice to someone of the same gender?
38. Made jokes about someone's "feminine" or "masculine" traits (gender police alert)?
39. Questioned why Pride parades need to be "so over the top" (fun police detected)?
40. Made comments about someone being "obviously gay" or "obviously straight" (sexuality isn't a uniform)?
41. Felt uncomfortable when someone corrected your assumptions about their sexuality (awkward much)?
42. Made jokes about "turning" straight after a bad relationship (that's not how any of this works)?
43. Asked invasive questions about someone's dating life specifically because they're LGBTQ+?
44. Made comments about someone "not looking gay" as if it were a compliment (yikes)?
45. Felt weird about changing clothes in front of someone you know is gay (newsflash: they're not interested)?
46. Made jokes about "experimenting" in college (like sexuality is chemistry class)?
47. Said someone was "too sensitive" about homophobic jokes (maybe your jokes just suck)?
48. Made assumptions about someone's interests based on their sexuality (stereotype bingo champion)?
49. Felt the need to mention your own heterosexuality in LGBTQ+ conversations unprompted?
50. Made comments about someone being "professionally gay" (is there a salary for this)?
51. Asked someone if they "play for the other team" (sexuality isn't sports, coach)?
52. Made jokes about someone's "gay agenda" (it's probably just brunch and Netflix)?
53. Felt uncomfortable when someone came out to you (they trusted you, Karen)?
54. Made comments about someone "making everything about being gay" (like you make everything about being straight)?
55. Asked intrusive questions about someone's transition or gender identity (Google exists, Janet)?
56. Made jokes about someone's pronouns (it's literally just words, Kevin)?
57. Felt annoyed when asked to use someone's preferred pronouns (it's basic respect, not rocket science)?
58. Made comments about someone "looking like their gender" or not (gender expression isn't a dress code)?
59. Said something was "too politically correct" when discussing LGBTQ+ issues (also known as "being decent")?
60. Made assumptions about someone's family structure based on their sexuality (families come in all colors)?
61. Felt the need to explain why you support LGBTQ+ rights with "but" statements (red flag detected)?
62. Made jokes about someone's "gay voice" (voices don't have sexual orientations, genius)?
63. Asked someone inappropriate questions about their sex life because they're LGBTQ+ (boundaries, learn them)?
64. Made comments about someone "acting normal" as if being LGBTQ+ wasn't normal (spoiler: it is)?
65. Felt uncomfortable when someone mentioned their same-gender partner casually (like mentioning the weather)?
66. Made jokes about someone "switching teams" (again, not sports)?
67. Asked someone if they were "sure" about their sexuality (they probably know themselves better than you do)?
68. Made comments about LGBTQ+ people "recruiting" others (it's not a pyramid scheme, Susan)?
69. Felt weird about this question number being 69 in this context (nice... wait, inappropriate)?
70. Made assumptions about someone's parenting abilities based on their sexuality (love makes families, not chromosomes)?
71. Said someone was "lucky" to be gay because they don't have to deal with the opposite gender (missing the point entirely)?
72. Made comments about someone being "the gay friend" as if that was their only identity (tokenism much)?
73. Felt uncomfortable when someone assumed you might be LGBTQ+ (touched a nerve there)?
74. Made jokes about "gayness being contagious" (it's not a cold, Derek)?
75. Asked someone what their "real name" was before they transitioned (their real name is their current name)?
76. Made comments about someone "looking like a real woman/man" (they ARE a real woman/man)?
77. Felt the need to tell someone they "pass well" as their gender (backhanded compliment detected)?
78. Made assumptions about someone's genitals or medical history (incredibly inappropriate, Michael)?
79. Said someone was "brave" for being openly LGBTQ+ in a way that felt condescending (they're just living)?
80. Made comments about someone's sexuality being "attention-seeking" (existing isn't performing)?
81. Felt uncomfortable when someone mentioned discrimination they've faced (reality check needed)?
82. Made jokes about someone's "alternative lifestyle choices" (being gay isn't alternative, it's just different)?
83. Said you "don't see sexuality" as if that was helpful (colorblind but for gayness)?
84. Made assumptions about someone's political beliefs based on their sexuality (sexuality ≠ political affiliation)?
85. Felt the need to mention how "tolerant" you are in LGBTQ+ conversations (tolerance is the bare minimum)?
86. Made comments about someone "making a big deal" out of their identity (while making everything about yours)?
87. Asked someone inappropriate questions about "how it works" in their relationships (Google exists for a reason)?
88. Made jokes about someone "batting for the other team" (still not sports, still not funny)?
89. Felt uncomfortable when corrected about someone's gender or sexuality (learning opportunity ignored)?
90. Made assumptions about someone's childhood or family based on their sexuality (amateur psychologist detected)?
91. Said someone was "pushing their sexuality on others" for existing openly (existing while gay is not an agenda)?
92. Made comments about someone "looking straight" as if it were surprising (there's no gay uniform)?
93. Felt the need to ask someone "how long they've known" about their sexuality (like there's an expiration date)?
94. Made jokes about someone's "gay panic" or similar offensive terms (panic is not a punchline)?
95. Asked someone if they've "tried being straight" (like it's a diet plan)?
96. Made assumptions about someone's relationship history based on tired stereotypes (stereotype bingo winner)?
97. Felt uncomfortable when someone mentioned experiencing homophobia (uncomfortable truths are still truths)?
98. Made comments about someone "playing the victim" when discussing discrimination (discrimination is real, Robert)?
99. Said "love is love" but still felt weird about same-gender couples (actions speak louder than slogans)?
100. Actually finished this entire test and are now questioning your own behavior (self-reflection activated)?
0
Your Rice Homophobia Score
Lower scores indicate less problematic behaviors.